Relationships are everything in life. Whether it’s at home or at work, our relationships, friendships and/or partnerships can strengthen us and yes, they can weaken us. They can change our lives for the better. They can also change our lives for the worst. They can disempower us or they can empower us. Some of our relationships become very dear to us, while others we keep at a distance. Some of us hang on to relationships long after their expiration date. Regardless of the type or theme of the relationship, there is always a reason for the relationship itself. And it’s up to us to uncover what that reason might be.
We speak about how important our relationships are to us, and yet our actions might tell a different story. It’s interesting how people end up paying a lot more attention to their closer relationships towards the end of their lives, rather than the beginning of their lives. What would it be like if we had a daily practice where we gave more attention to our relationships in our day to day life? What kind of impact would it have on us in the latter part of our lives if we actually learned how to deepen our relationships with our self and others in the first half of our life? How much could we learn? What might we discover about ourselves? How much could we grow and/or mature as a woman or a man? It’s been said, the fastest way to enlightenment is through our relationships.
On a scale of 1 to 10, ten being very important and one being of little importance, how important is it for you to be in a loving, fulfilling relationship or partnership? There are two places from which this question can be answered; our intellect or our actual experience.
If intellect, then it’s probably going to be high on the scale for most people. However, the idea of being in a relationship that is truly loving and fulfilling, over time will fade away, if we’re not actually experiencing this type of a relationship.
If experiencing a loving, fulfilling relationship is something you are doing… you can honestly say, this is happening to us! This person is someone who more than likely has done a lot of inner work. They have developed a loving relationship with themselves that is fulfilling and harmonious to them.
They’re no longer looking for love, security, and/or approval from mommy or daddy. Therefore there is no more unconscious projecting onto their next relationship or business partnership, no more trying to get that old deep seeded need for approval, love or security fulfilled by the partner that they feel is most significant to them.
This is the person who has really been getting to know themselves on a much deeper level. Again, they more than likely have done a lot of inner work. They’ve discovered that within them is both a masculine and feminine side. As a soul we have an essence. That essence for most will be more masculine or feminine oriented and because both are equally available, especially to the older souls, it’s up to us to decide on which essence we would ultimately lead our life with. This is a game changer, once we get this right. Right with our soul that is.
How do we know if we got it right? One way is in getting better at examining the results in our life. We’ll naturally have better results in our day to day life as in more joy, harmony, fulfillment and passion as we move into alignment with how we are to be truly living our life, and the soul essence in which we are to be living our life from. If we’re not in alignment and we’re just thinking we are… then, at the very least whether it’s found in our actual experience of having more joy, fulfillment, passion or love in our day to day lives will be restricted or limited in some way. That too is a result.
How much stress, struggle and strife are we experiencing day to day? When we’re living our life in a way that’s most authentic to us in relation to our soul, as a soul our life flows with more ease and grace. Which means less stress, struggle and strife. Again look for the actual result that’s manifesting in our lives, for the results never lie!
When the relationship we have with ourself becomes important to us, this is when our relationships with others become more authentic and meaningful. We look at them differently. Is this a good relationship? Is this the kind of relationship or partnership I truly want? Am I to be embracing this relationship, or am I to be letting it go? This is where we can get stuck. If we’re stuck in a relationship, this is where the joy, the love and the fulfillment begins to fade or gets sabotaged. This can be very painful. Depending on the significance of the relationship in our lives, as in a business partnership, intimate relationship, or a relationship with a family member. Once stuck in a relationship of this significance, should we stay in this stuck place, it’ll begin to affect another part of our lives whether it’s our leadership style, parenting style, finances, career or health.
The price some have paid for just simply not taking the time to learn about relationships has been so costly and unnecessarily painful. I say unnecessary because some of this pain could and can be avoided. To learn about the way we are in our relationships first and foremost with ourself, and then with others, is one of the best investments of time, energy and resources we will ever make. This type of investment will pay incredible dividends for the rest of our life. This should never be thought of as a cost, but rather an investment. For that’s what this is… an investment in you and the improvement of the way in which you actually experience your life.
Our life is one huge relationship to someone or something. Whether it’s our relationship to our guides, our kids, our friends, our employees, our customers, our business/career, our money, our significant other, or and perhaps most importantly our self, somehow someway if we don’t have a deeper understanding of ourselves, it will affect the way we experience our relationship to anyone or anything in our life.
When working with others in my seminars, or coaching programs this is what everyone on some level has their own frustrations with. They many times are not able to see what’s actually going on within them, and how that connects to what’s going on in their relationship with someone else or to something else. As they become aware of what this really is, and accept full responsibility for what it is that’s truly theirs, the frustration they were feeling quickly releases and they begin to discover a new way in which they can now show up in that relationship. In other words, clear out what is truly causing the frustration or the difficulty, and we literally transform the way we experience that relationship.